My Intention

For Potential Clients: My intention is to hold space for your endless possibilities of change. By guiding you towards experiencing more confidence, calmness, clarity, and compassion, you can find the wisdom already within you. When life presents hardships, I hope you are able to access what is already within you, and you do so more easily and frequently. Then this can lead to a more kind and loving relationship with yourself and others.

Furthermore, I hope this page gives you a sense of clients I have been successful in providing therapy to, and some of my limitations as a therapist. I am the therapist you work with when you already have some skills in managing your symptoms and daily life. Our work together can help you heal unresolved experiences or emotions and make lasting changes in yourself and in your relationships.

Clientele

In addition to working with adult individuals (see below sections: Life Experiences and What to Expect), I work with adult relationships.

Mental Health and Medical Professionals: I work with mental health providers, many seeking IFS or IFIO. Also, I work with couples where one or both partners are mental health or medical professionals.

Therapy

Intimate Relationships: My experience working with intimate relationships:

  • a partner with extensive trauma
  • a partner struggles with an addiction
  • emotional and physical affairs
  • oppressed person(s)
  • feeling disconnected from one another and desire connection, closeness, intimacy
  • reduce intensity and frequency of fights/arguments
  • the same fight keeps happening and there is no resolution or change
  • improve communication skills
  • adult children and parents

Other intimate relationships I am interested in working with: colleagues, multiple partners, friends.

I ask you to commit to your relationship and therapy for six months. If someone in the relationship has “one foot in the relationship and one foot out”, I encourage you to first work with a Discernment Counselor. Find a Discernment Counselor in your area on Psychology Today.

If you experience terror or severe violence in your relationship, please contact a therapist who specializes in domestic violence on Psychology Today or in the Cedar Rapids area Waypoint Services: 319.365.1458.

Life Experiences I Work With:

  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Grief and Loss (changes in life involve feelings of loss)
  • Members of oppressed populations: If I have a wait list and you identify as an oppressed person(s), let me know and you will be moved to the top of the list.
  • Trauma and tragedies
  • Relationship issues
  • Communication issues
  • Addictions (including behavioral addictions) *see below

Beginning Therapy

In our first session we will review paperwork you completed to ensure clarity, identify your goals for therapy, and explore your current symptoms and circumstances. Usually, it takes several sessions for us to build a trusting relationship as I continue to explore your background(s). The success of therapy is significantly based on if we are a good fit for one another and your willingness to change. Initially, I recommend weekly sessions to start, then eventually move to bi-weekly, monthly, or as-needed sessions. However, this is your therapy. You decide the frequency of sessions unless I recommend more is medically necessary.

What to Expect In Session

Individuals

Couples, Multiple Partner Relationships, and Other Relationships

When you feel more comfortable, and with your permission, we will explore the underlying causes of your current feelings, behaviors and circumstances. We will discuss my approaches and see if its of interest to you. My typical session structure for an individual session is:

  • The first 5-10 minutes you may update me on what you want me to know since I last saw you.
  • Then you choose what you would like to focus on (ex: addressing a symptom, an emotion, processing grief, or addressing a recent conflict or argument.)
  • Generally, I don’t give “homework”. Please do feel free to ask for ideas on what to do between sessions!
  • Once in awhile you may want to spend a session talking only and not exploring your feelings more deeply. This is your choice and it’s up to you! While doing deeper work may seem intimidating, you control how deep we go and at the pace. Most people feel better after talking or venting, but may not experience long-term benefits. My best work is when I guide you in doing the deeper and healing work.
  • The goal isn’t to heal 100%. I don’t know that complete healing is even humanly possible! And doing the healing work can allow you to return to peace or contentment more quickly, and stay there longer.

Attending sessions with another person is nerve-racking for most people. For this reason, I conscientiously create a space throughout our time together, where you will feel comfortable sharing with me and one another. The first session we’ll review paperwork and define goals for our work together. From the the first session and throughout our time together, I ask about your relationship and personal histories, gather information, and track what happens during a conflict or difficult conversation. Then we begin to change what happens in those conversations. Slower is faster in that the process can feel slow, and as your conversations change over time, you return to contentment and connection more quickly.

My typical session structure for when two or more persons are attending:

  • The first 10 minutes you can update me on what you want me to be aware of since I last saw you.
  • You inform me what you want to address or focus on the remainder of the session. This may be addressing a recent conflict or argument, having a hard conversation with my support and guidance, or working through old relationship wounds.
  • In general, I don’t assign “homework”. There are a few reasons why I don’t, one of them being because I rarely remember to ask if you did it! Please do feel free to ask me for ideas on what to do between sessions!
  • Most people have the same fight over and over and don’t seem to get anywhere. First, this is normal! The research shows 69% of your disputes will not be resolved. What I help you change is HOW you do conflict so you hopefully have less stress and frustration, increase your chances of being understood, and feeling more connected during and after conflicts. My belief is together, you can make decisions and problem-solve on your own.

Ages: I only work with adults and my clients’ ages range from 30’s to 70’s. While I don’t work with those younger than 18 years old, see below for information.

  • Children: I often recommend a Play Therapist for children. I can offer you referrals to therapists who provide this service or you may search Psychology Today
  • Teens/Adolescents: I can offer you referrals to therapists who specifically work with teens, or you may search Psychology Today.

Crisis: For those who experience regular crisis or emergencies, suicidal tendancies, or psychosis, I am not a good fit. I am only available for phone calls and emails during regular office hours and it may be up to 48 hours or longer before I am able to respond. Therefore, I cannot provide services for those who experience crisis regularly or emergencies, require communication outside of regular office hours, or on-call services for emergencies. To work with a therapist who can assist you, contact Mercy, Unity Point, or Abbe Mental Health Center. If you are outside of the Cedar Rapids area, please look up a community mental health center in your area. You may also contact your local National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) chapter for a list of local resources.

If you are in crisis now, please contact Cedar Rapids area Foundation 2 at 319.362.2174 or 800.332.4224, chat online foundation2crisischat.org. National text or call 988, chat online. Or go to the nearest emergency room.

Addictions: No one says, “I want to become an alcoholic…shopaholic…self-harm…involved in abusive relationships.” Underneath painful behaviors like addictions or abuse of self or others, are painful losses and wounds like neglect or unresolved trauma. Together, we work on building the capacity to address and resolve the underlying pain; therefore, numbing is less necessary.

In the event I determine you need a higher level of care, I will refer you to a local treatment center:

Therapists and counselors with CADC credentials are specialized in treating substance use disorders.